As a waitress I set countless tables. I learned a lot about the “proper” way to do it and I always know which plate is MY bread plate and which glass is MY water glass a tightly set table (see below for a hint). I learned that the tip of your thumb makes a great measure mark on the edge of the table to make sure the flatware is all aligned. Like niece Erica, I know several ways to fold napkins. I CAN set a gorgeous table, but I only make the effort on Valentine’s Day.

My friend Sam is THE consummate host. She loves to have people over and gets all worked up about it. Frequently she has to “Go to the Bunker” to pull out dishes, glassware or specific serving pieces. She sets the table days in advance and tweaks it right up until the day of the event. For Holiday meals she sets up buffet tables in a long line and pulls out all the stops. And while I admire her table and all of its loveliness and majesty, that just isn’t my style. Even after all the “official functions” I have attended and all the swank dinners in a bazillion restaurants, I still feel a little awkward when I sit down at an ornately set table. And if I feel awkward, I am sure my guests will too. I’d rather everyone be relaxed for the Holiday so I opt for a buffet.

This is the PRE-set. All the dishes laid out to make sure I have enough space on the table and enough vessels and serve ware.

Now don’t assume because I opt for a buffet style meal that anything is half assed! It’s casual, but not sloppy. I set the buffet table up several days in advance with all of the serving dishes – most are stoneware casseroles – with little sticky notes so I can look and make sure I have a vessel for each dish and room enough on the table to hold it all. I wrap the flatware in linen napkins and set them in a trifle bowl for service and the bar is self serve. If you are really nice and it is your first time with us, John will even go to the garage and pour you a home brew off the taps out there. If you are a regular, he hands you the glass so you can get your own. Relaxed, casual and unstuffy – that’s my style. And this is the first year with an actual dining room table!

Because Thanksgiving has all kinds of Food Memories associated with it for many people, if you want a job, all you have to do is ask, and I will give you one. Anything except making the gravy as Friend John M learned early on. This year, Friend Laurie is helping assemble the antipasto, John M is doing the mashed potatoes, and everyone who wants to help will be given a job as soon as they ask. I am like a general in the kitchen as Chef Beni learned last year.

The most important things for my table setting are the people around it. Believe it or not, the food is incidental. My Holiday meal wouldn’t be complete without my only child in attendance and I know I have a limited number of years for that. He will move out, get married and make his own Thanksgiving and maybe I’ll be invited. A perfectly set table for me is one where people are laughing and smiling, joking and making yummy sounds, enjoying each other and coming together to give thanks! And there is always room for a few more.

I wish you all a fantastic Holiday meal full of friends, laughter and yummy sounds, whether your table is big or small, fancy or not, I am sure it will be amazing.

Here’s a hint so you never go wrong: using both of your hands, make the “OK” signal (Moment of Truth – the “OK” signal also means asshole in American Sign Language when positioned properly). Turn both hands so you can see the table thru the “O” and your pinkies are resting on the table, then bring your other three fingers together in a straight line. Your left should look like a lower case “B” and the right should look like a lower case “D”. “B” for bread, “D” for drink.

This past week’s Food Memories include wonderful sushi at Blue Ribbon Sushi, Dinner with my Dad at Culinary Dropout and the release of the Beaujolais Nouveau!

Until next week, go out and make your OWN Food Memories!