Friendsgiving Archives - Good For Spooning

My favorite holiday of the year is Thanksgiving. In 29 years of marriage, John and I have only had Thanksgiving with extended family a handful of times. As a military family, it just wasn’t possible financially or logistically, but that has been changing in the past few years. My cousin Christine and my SILs from San Francisco have made the trip a few times and for me, it makes the holiday all the brighter.

There are a few friends who I wish would join us for Thanksgiving

We usually have about 20 for Thanksgiving, but last year got out of control. We had 42 people for dinner. Three turkeys and all that goes with it, wine, desserts. Basically The Works. It was too much even for me. I didn’t really get to visit with ANYONE because I was so busy visiting with everyone for a few minutes at a time. We have decided never to repeat that and have trimmed everything back to the 20 again. A few will drop in for drinks and apps and a few will show up for dessert. There are some friends who I wish would join us for the holiday. Several can’t because they host their own “Friendsgiving”, a few can’t because of family obligations and a few won’t because we have a “no football” policy. The TV goes on for the Macy’s Parade and then it is off for the rest of the day. It is all about music and laughter and conversation. IMHO, you can stare at the TV any other day of the year.

Don’t you think EVERYONE should be able to spend Thanksgiving with their loved ones?

Because I feel so strongly about Thanksgiving being a “family” day, whether you spend it with bio-family or chosen family, I encourage you to NOT shop on Thanksgiving. Of course there is the inevitable, “Oh shit! I forgot the cranberries!” “Dammit! I was supposed to bring wine with me!” “For fuck’s sake! Who ate all of the stuff for the antipasto?” And off to the grocery store you must run. I am not talking about that. I am talking about SHOPPING. The so called Black Friday sales start ON Thanksgiving now. WHY? Isn’t spending time with your loved ones more important than the few dollars you save by shopping on Thanksgiving? Don’t you think EVERYONE should be able to spend the day with their loved ones? I do, and that’s why I encourage all of you to stay home. If folks stop showing up, the stores will stay closed and allow their employees to enjoy the day with their peeps before the mad holiday shopping season rush.

To that end, here is a list of retailers honoring family traditions and staying closed on Thanksgiving. Show them a little love this shopping season when you are choosing where to spend your hard earned dollars. For the record, I will be at Dillard’s at 8 am on Friday to show them some love! Thanks to Forbes online for the graphic and info. These are just he national chains and bog box stores. Of course, most of the Mom & Pop shops will be closed and you can show them the love on Small Business Saturday.

So here’s my game plan:

Watch the Macy’s Parade (even though they are open on Thanksgiving) while I am doing prep
Eat, drink and be merry with friends, music, laughter and maybe some games
Black Friday Shopping with my pal Lynn – Dillard’s always has the best handbags on sale!
Shop Local on Saturday
Sleep on Sunday

Years ago, we started “adopting” Airmen from the dorms to our Thanksgiving table and thus the “Island of Lost Toys Thanksgiving” was born. When I look back and think of everyone sitting on the floor, couches and any place they could perch to eat, I chuckle. It was probably one of the craziest ideas I ever had. We didn’t have a table big enough, we only had a four top table and because I have always done Thanksgiving buffet style, that’s where the food went! I know each and every Airman that has joined us has loved it. I know as humble as my home was and is, it is better than any chow hall on the planet, plus there is camaraderie from others they don’t know. If you want to “adopt” a service member to your Thanksgiving celebration, contact your local military installation.

This year marked the 25th Anniversary of the “Island of Lost Toys” Thanksgiving. It is something we have done for years. It started when we lived in Spain. Most of us could not afford to fly to The States for Thanksgiving, so we invited all the “Dorm Rats” to our house (we did it for Xmas too – but have stopped that). We had no dining room table and the world’s smallest oven (Moment of Truth – to roast the turkey we had to wrap the entire thing in foil and shove it into the oven DIAGONALLY and rotate it every half hour). People came and sat on the floor, the couch, any place that was available and we had a BLAST. Now of course with John having retired from military service, we don’t have the “Dorm Rats”, but we do have friends in Vegas who have no family here (Or don’t want to spend the whole day with their family for whatever reason) and we all come together to enjoy food and spirits.

In all of my married years I have never had Thanksgiving with my Mom. I have had five Thanksgiving holidays with my Dad. We lived closer to one another and he and Nettie drove to be with me and my family. I have only had one Thanksgiving with any of my siblings. Our military life required that we live where John’s assignment was and we simply could not afford to fly all over the place on the busiest travel weekend of the year. So we have always done our own thing and made meals with our “chosen family” of dear friends.

That ONE tradition of joining together with friends continues

During a phone call with Friend John M, he said, “I thought we weren’t going to make it this year. I hate to break with tradition, so I am glad plans changed.” It never occurred to me that Thanksgiving with the Morrises was a TRADITION until he said that. It was just a meal we had with friends. I think this was the 8th Thanksgiving we have spent with the Morrises! That ONE tradition of joining together with friends continues, but components of the menu change every year and the people have changed throughout the years. We now fry our turkeys (yes plural). I make Southern dishes because I like them better than Yankee dishes (don’t judge) and this year will be the first year that I actually have a dining room table. Now that we are permanently in one place our guest list includes The Usual Suspects and new people as we meet them. It’s an eclectic mix of artists, teachers, military members, health care professionals, cooks and non cooks.

I just read an article in Bon Appetit about traditions. The writer says his mom didn’t have traditions that she passed down to her family and that he and his gal are making their own traditions. John and I have done that too. While both of our Moms handed down traditions, we thought it was important to keep some of those and toss others out and make our own as we went along (like dinner at home for Valentine’s Day, dinner out for Xmas, shopping on our Anniversary and eating Chinese food for lunch on Boxing Day).

If the people, food and setting aren’t the same from year to year, can it really be called a “tradition”? I think so. What makes it a tradition is the communal meal, regardless of who is there and what is being served. It is a family gathering of sorts, but instead of blood relatives, it is the family we have chosen to be part of our lives. Would I like a “traditional” Thanksgiving dinner with all the family? Sure! But let’s face it, that’s probably never going to happen. In the meantime I will continue with the TRADITIONS we have created.

Holly, Anna, Laurie

Bells

The laden table

Small Business Saturday Bazaar at the El Cortez

Food Memories this week include dinner and drinks with friends all day long on Thanksgiving, Black Friday Mexican food with assorted Moonens (so glad I got to meet them), Small Biz Saturday dining and shopping with my two guys, leftovers and Turkey Tetrazzini for my favorite college student.

The famous Tetrazzini…