Remember that July is the Month of the Bitch? Yeah, well here’s some more.
I love shopping, I even love grocery shopping. What I can’t stand about grocery shopping are three main things:
- The way the stores are laid out
- The other shoppers
- Coupons
Let’s take them one at a time, shall we?
The way the stores are laid out (Moment of Truth – there is a tip in here for you) – There is no standardization! The only thing that is standard in all store lay outs, no matter where you go, is that the stuff that is good for you is on the outer edges. Think about it, produce, meat, dairy, bakery…all along the walls right? Even when you go to an ethnic market like Cardenas it is the same. For the most part I shop mainly the perimeter of the store, venturing into the center infrequently. When I do, for example, need Dijon mustard, I walk up and down aisle after aisle trying to find what I need. A small part of my brain believes the store managers intentionally move shit around and deliberately don’t change the hanging signs so people like me wander thus giving the security folks something to laugh at on tape. Comic relief must be part of the security team’s perk package.
The other shoppers – It doesn’t matter which lane I get in, it always turns into the “I don’t know what the fuck I am doing lane”. If I am in the self-checkout, I will be behind the person who has never used it before and is maxing out the 15 item limit. If I am in the regular checkout I will get behind the solitary person on the planet who still writes CHECKS or behind the SUPER COUPONER. So, a quick word of advice, if you see me in line, don’t get in line behind me. It doesn’t matter where, bank, grocery, Target…just choose another lane. Which brings us to #3…
Coupons – For years I was the one at the checkout that had all the damn coupons, not any more. And it isn’t because I don’t want to save money, because I do. It’s because most of the coupons are for things in the MIDDLE of the store. Prepackaged, prepared, processed foods. Yeah, you’ll find some for cleaning products, bricks of Kraft cheese and occasionally bagged produce, but for the amount of time I have to spend hunting for those few coupons, I’d rather just pay the regular retail and save myself the headache and save the 25 cents elsewhere.
On a more pleasant note – there are two things I’d like to share:
Longtime friend and author of Ministry of Happiness asked me to be a guest blogger for him this week. Topic? Happiness and Food! Go read it and subscribe to his blog – it’s good stuff. As I tried to narrow the focus for him, I realized there are a LOT of aspects about food that make me happy. August will explore THOSE happy things! (see, I am not ALWAYS a bitch).
My final demo with the Springs Preserve is this Saturday at 10 am in the Café. There are always seats available and this month I will be joined by my friend Chef Beni Velazquez. Together we are doing cocktails and desserts to feed a crowd! Beni will be sharing his Peach Sangria recipe with us. And just on the off chance that you haven’t seen the video, here is a shameless plug.
