I have a love/hate relationship with several things lately and one of them is Facebook. This week FB reminded me that I needed to write my Pet Peeves blog. It has been three years since my last one. These are the things and happenings that make me want to shout “Fuck off!” This is the one time of year that I let loose and bitch, whine, and complain about any damn thing I choose. If you want to see past issues, you can click here, or here, or even here. Many of those are continuing issues, but this is the current list of additional things that make my head explode. Be forewarned, this post is always filled with foul language. If you are easily offended, you might want to move along.

Social Media

“Influencers”

Who are they trying to influence? I am all for sharing what I love (and despise) with everyone I know and opening a conversation about said topic, restaurant, product, recipe, or idea. No one pays me to rep their product on my socials and I don’t expect anything in return. If you are a paid rep, you are a brand ambassador. Do these “social media stars” really think they are influencing me? Fuck off!

Additionally, I really get pissed off when my experience is spoiled by “influencers”. It happened in Barcelona at Park Guell. A couple of bimbettes (not old enough to be full bimbos), commandeered the entire gorgeous, tiled staircase so they could get the “perfect shot”. This went on for more than 30 minutes, angrily shooing people out of their shot. Fuck off!

Recently we were at a pop-up event for a soon to be opening diner, and “influencers” were seated near us. In an attempt to get decent shots of the food, they were using lights so bright that we had to shield our eyes. Get a fucking Android and you don’t have to do that! Then they had the nerve to simper a lukewarm apology at us. “Oh, so sorry. We’re influencers and want to get a great shot for them.” The Hubs & I rolled our eyes at them and tried to ignore the glaring light. Fuck off!

“Brand Ambassadors”

For the last goddamned time, NO I do not want free product to be your “brand ambassador”! Brand reps are paid for promotion of a product. In cash. You know…it’s a JOB. If there is no financial compensation attached to your offer, kindly fuck off and leave me alone.

Trolls

Why in the world would you intentionally follow someone you completely disagree with? If you are trying to broaden your scope of knowledge, and really learn what the other has to say, that’s great. If you are there simply to start a flame war, belittle them, call names, or be disagreeable in general, you are a troll. Please go fuck off.

“Friend” Etiquette

Recently, I have noticed a spate of comments and threads where so called “friends” are correcting the OP*. In many cases the OP didn’t ask for opinions, but the “friends” feel they must weigh in and share why the OP is wrong. And they are doing this publicly, basically embarrassing the OP. If you are truly friends with that person IRL*, message them privately and share your concerns, don’t shame them in public. If you are more concerned with being correct than being a friend, you are a troll. See above and fuck off.

And Pop-Up Ads can just go Fuck Off!

Travel

Boarding Flights

• It has been more than 20 years since 9-11. The protocols by the TSA have changed very little. Why can’t people figure this shit out?
• Guess what? Crowding the gate because you think you can board earlier than your group doesn’t work. Get out of the way and fuck off.
• Don’t try to board with group 2 when you are in group 6. They have your number; your ticket will be checked, and you will be kicked out of line. You will just hold up the line for everyone else.

Don’t crowd the baggage claim carousel. It will not make your bag come off the chute faster. You are just blocking everyone who is trying to get to the ones that are actually ON the damn belt.

Appointment Times

This particular pet peeve applies mostly to doctors’ offices. I know I need an appointment, so I make said appointment based on my schedule and available slots. If I don’t show up on time, the office can, and frequently does, charge a “no show” fee. But I am not supposed to get pissed off if the doctor is not on time. How the fuck is that fair? Guess what? My hairdresser, nail tech, lash tech, dog groomer, all require appointments and they run on time. And you know what else? If they are running late, they CALL ME and let me know. I wonder how the doc would feel if I started charging a late fee, or billing them for MY time while I am sitting in their waiting room?

To be fair, I know sometimes it is other patients’ fault that the doc is running late, but a courtesy call would be appreciated so I am not wasting my time. Also, OB/GYN are exempt from this rant – babies come on their own schedule and basically tell everyone, “Fuck off! I am coming!”

And Finally – Other People’s Kids

If you know me at all, you know that I frequently say, “I hate kids”. That’s not true. I like MY people’s kids. I like babies. I like teenagers. However, when it comes to other people’s kids, I get irritated. We recently went to a get-together at a brewery/restaurant. There were 46 – I counted – kids, many of whom were running around, being nuisances. Now, if they were being parented by the adults who brought them AT ALL, I wouldn’t have had an issue. If you insist on bringing your kids in public (and FTR you should), be sure to teach them how to behave properly. Wait. Maybe it isn’t the kids I can’t stand. Maybe it is their parents…yeah, that’s it.

*OP = Original Poster

*IRL = In Real Life